JD-LIONS 2-2 DILLIGAF

JD LIONS 2-2 DILLIGAF (Division 4)
at the Stade De Brum, Birmingham

The JD Lions losing streak is finally over following a well deserved point against tough-opposition Dilligaf. Carlos was again on the scoresheet as he bagged a brace to earn the Lions a vital point. Carlos' first goal owed much to his own ingenuity as, with his back to goal, he fired in a wicked back-heel that gave Marcus Trescothick in goal, no chance. Walker and Summerfield were marshalling Lions defence well again and protected the goal well, however Walker was unlucky when a hopeful shot from Paul Warhurst deflected off him, wrong-footing Davis who palmed the ball into his own net like a spastic. 1-1. Minutes later and Dilligaf were infront as Warhurst played a lovely one-two and poked the ball past Davis as the flat-footed defence looked on. Dilligaf had turned it around just before halftime and somehow they lead 2-1.

JD Lions pushed forward in search of an equaliser that looked ever likelybut Trescothick was putting up a barrier in goal as he twice denied Carlos with fantastic reaction saves, however Carlos had the last laugh as he took his goal tally for the season to four as he bullied and bashed his way into scoring a goal to level the contest at two-apiece. That's the way it finished. The draw means that Lions remain fourth from bottom and several points adrift behind AVFG, it's going to be a long, hard, slog if the Lions are going to survive relegation.

1.Davis 2.Summerfield(sub:Slater) 4.Walker 23.Slater 13.Sorensen 17.Carlos(sub:9.Dandy)


REAL JD 6-4 ALLSTARS (friendly)
at the Astro-Arena, Birmingham

Real JD were awarded a 5-0 forfeit victory for their opponents failure to appear and proceded to play one of the most entertaining friendlies of all time.
Carlos opened up the scoring yet again as he twisted and turned majestically like a gigantic ballarina and hit a vicious shot into the bottom corner, Real JD played some attractive football and looked confident and composed as they played the ball in-to-feet and with some slick passing went three goals up with Alex Dandy scoring for the seventh time this season (leading goalscorer) and Dave Swannick scoring his first and second of the campaign-the second was a delighfully well taken goal with a 'Michael Thomas for Arsenal last kick of the season vs Liverpool "Its up for grabs now..." style goal with the wierd seal-flip celebration'! Which I enjoyed immensely. Steve Harris who had been rock-solid all night had a sudden rush of blood to the head as he squared the ball to the opposing forward Stuart Ripley who curled it past Davis to reduce the arrears, 1-4.
No matter as Carlos frightend an Allstars defender out of the way and unleashed, yet another, fierce drive past the 'keeper.

This is where the game turned bizarre, in a five minute spell JD 'keeper Phil Davis was in a turkey shoot and was making save after save as his defenders seeme to abandon hope, despite being three goals infront, Davis wilted slightly and all of a sudden it was 3-5. Parity was restored for Real JD, however as Dave Sorensen was put through by Dandy and he made no mistake, scoring his sixth goal of the season to make it 6-3. The game wasn't over yet however as Ripley scored his second to reduce the defecit to two goals, 6-4 it finished.

The failure of JD's opponents to appear, yet again, resulted in a 5-0 forfeit victory for JD who are up to third in the league to the delight of player/manager James Walker: "We've been so much better than a month ago, the lads have got stuck in and turned 'would-be-defeats' into draws and 'would-be-draws' into wins which is why we've crept up the table and no-one seems to have noticed, which is great for us because we're an unknown force. People will keep underestimating us slightly and that doesn't bother me."

1.Davis 2.Summerfield 4.Walker(13.Swannick) 24.Harris(sub:23.Slater) 17.Carlos(sub:9.Dandy) 12.Sorensen


BARTLEY HARRIERS 3-0 LA GALAXY CARAMEL (Division 1)
at the city of Birmingham Stadium, Birmingham
An absolutely exhausted squad took on FC Walrus, some of whom had played two or three games in a row before kick off so it was no surprise as FC Walrus ran away with the points. The Walrus were infront as early as the third minute when Savo Milosovic's long-range 'daisy-cutter' squeezed into Davis' far-post, a minute later and Dean Saunders fired in an exocet from distance that made it two-nil and that's the way it stayed until halftime.

Throughout the second period Red Star were merely keeping FC Walrus at bay and allowing them only to shoot from distance, Davis made two decent saves to deny Milosovic but he couldn't prevent Saunders from getting his second of the game late on, as he ghosted in down the right channel and lifted the ball over the advancing Red Star 'keeper. three-nil and game over. The result leaves Galaxy well adrift at the bottom and desperately needing some points.

1.Davis 2.Summerfield 3.Shotton(sub:11.Slater) 4.Walker 8.Sorensen 7.Dandy

FC DISASTA 0-0 MAYPOLE HEROES (Division 3)
People's Republic of Birmingrad, Stadion, CCCP

FC Disasta and Maypole continue to be locked in a promotion battle as they sit in second and third place respectively following a stalemate at the Communist stadium on sunday evening.

JD Lions 'keeper Phil Davis and LA Galaxy right-back Mat Shotton were both sent out on-loan and performed very well in earning the north Birmingham side a point in a tepid, goaless draw. Shotton almost made a name for himself as he could and should have scored his second of the season when he latched onto a throughball from Smith but just couldn't get a good enough contact to break the deadlock.

13.Davis 22.Shotton 2.Smith 3.Smith 4.Smith 5.Smith


THE PIGEONS REACTION TO THE WEEKEND'S FOOTBALL
Ten quick-fire opinions from the editor-in-chief
1.If it wasn't for Shay Given-Newcastle would be in division two by now and they would probably still be going on about how they are one of the biggest clubs in the country. Fuck off and eat some coal, Geordies.
2.Arsenal are a bit rubbish now.
3.Mark Noble of West Ham is a div. He's toilet, dirty and naiive. How can he can argue with Howard Webb and then walk off shaking his head following his red-card at the city of Manchester stadium in Manchester where Manchester City play.
4.Carlos is on-form scoring four goals at the birmingham leisure-leagues and is not going to sign for Real Madrid.
5.Do not underestimate the promoted championship sides. Stoke and Hull have already exceeded the critics expections.
6.Michael Owen is still good, who'd've thought it? Just keep him fit and maybe England will stop being gash. 7.Davis James had an erratic week, just when we thought he was ace, can he get back on track? The Pigeon says 'yes'.
8.Jonathon Pearce needs to be gotten rid of. If the BBC took controversially sexist steps to remove that female commentator from 'Match of the day' last season then Pearce,the self-styled rhyming, punning, twat should be staring into a P45 by wednesday.
9.Birmingham City's promotion campaign is still going strong.
10.Dave Swannick scored two great goals for JD Lions, wish I'd put a tenner on that.